Our Treatment Approach for Recovery
From Sexual Compulsion, Sex and Love Addiction,
and other Sexual Issues

Initial Contact: You are probably contacting us because you or your partner are in a crisis or an impending crisis due to sexual behavior. You may feel desperate, perhaps even hopeless. Give either of us a call at the numbers listed below, and we can discuss your situation, give you information about our services, and set up an appointment for an evaluation if you decide that would be helpful.

Evaluation: We each have extensive experience in evaluating sexual addiction, as well as in the provision of therapy. The goal of the evaluation is to stabilize the situation, give you some specific tools, and to make treatment recommendations. One of us will meet with you for an evaluation of 1-3 sessions during which information is gathered to obtain an understanding of the current issues, history, and contributing factors. If both parties are willing, the partner is often included in some portion of the evaluation. We will then make recommendations for a treatment plan which could include any combination of the following:

• Individual Therapy for the person with the sexual issue
• Individual Therapy or Supportive Counseling for the partner
• Group Therapy for the sexual acting out person
• Couples Therapy
• 12 Step Recovery Group attendance

Individual Therapy

We provide tools and strategies for behavior change and relapse prevention. Individual therapy also addresses issues that led you into trouble. These may include using sex as a substitute for connection and/or as a way to deal with stress, loneliness, anger, sadness and guilt. We will help you develop new ways of relating to yourself and others, particularly through developing comfort with a range of emotions and through constructive expression of your feelings and needs. When intimacy no longer feels threatening, you can move toward love and connection rather than destructive and ultimately unsatisfying substitutes.

Treatment for the Partner

We are aware that during the initial crisis post-disclosure, your life may feel like it has been turned upside down. You may now doubt your ability to assess what is real, what is true, what is safe. You might feel intense anger and hurt at being deceived by the person you most loved and trusted. You may wonder, how did we get here, how is it that I can be so perceptive and yet have missed this parallel reality? And most confusing of all, it may feel like you can’t imagine staying and can’t imagine leaving. Our goal is to give you a safe, supportive place to identify your needs and to begin the process of making sense of your world. From this clarity and deeper understanding of yourself and your situation, sound decisions can be made.

Group Therapy for Men with Sexual Acting Out Behavior

Research shows that group treatment is extremely helpful in attaining a positive outcome. Many clients tell us that group is the most powerful vehicle of change. Our therapist-led groups provide structure, a support network, and accountability, as well as in-depth work. They are limited to 8 regularly attending members. Confidentiality is put forth as being absolutely essential to ensure the privacy of group members. We recognize that many of you have high visibility positions and that this is a primary concern. Group is a safe place to practice more constructive ways of relating: to communicate honestly and directly about difficult topics, to listen, to express feelings, to ask for help. All of these skills are essential for full recovery. Some people choose to do a combination of our therapist-led groups along with 12 Step Recovery Groups such as SA, SAA, and SLAA.

Couples Therapy

Working on healthier ways to communicate and connect in a relationship are critical factors in full and satisfying recovery. The first priority is to stabilize the crisis and provide a safe place for disclosure and important decisions. It can be essential to have a supportive space to make sense of what has happened, to understand the new reality, and to decide how to proceed. If the decision is made to stay together, then a crucial part of the work involves making amends and rebuilding trust. While it may be hard to imagine initially, with deep motivation and hard work it is possible to build a much healthier relationship than either of you ever thought possible. If you are not sure whether to stay together or separate, couples therapy can be a place to figure that out. If the decision is to separate, a safe forum is helpful to proceed in a manner that minimizes the damage, especially if there are children involved.

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Serving the San Francisco Bay Area, East Bay, and Silicon Valley, including San Jose, Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Mountain View, Redwood City, San Mateo, Milpitas, Fremont, and Santa Cruz.

I. David Marcus, Ph.D.  •  408.313.3365

1600 The Alameda Suite 104, San Jose, CA 95126

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