Depression is often referred to as “anger turned inwards.” We find that it can also involve sadness turned inward (it is critical to distinguish sadness from depression). Therefore it is important to have full and authentic experiences of the underlying emotions to help relieve the burden of depression.


Anxiety is the body’s response to feeling threatened. Anxiety can be generalized or situation specific (e.g. during conflict). Sometimes the perceived threat is due to historical factors and has little to do with the current situation. Think of anxiety as a car alarm that goes off even at times when nobody is breaking in. Conversing with your anxiety can greatly reduce it. The body says, “I am being threatened.” The response can be, “Where’s the threat?”


Individual Therapy

Can you relate to any of these issues?

  • Life no longer feels satisfying or meaningful. Perhaps it never really has. You feel like you are “going through the motions.”
  • You have good intentions, but somehow you don’t finish the resumé, start the healthy routine, or get out socially. It feels like anxiety, lack of energy, or depression runs your life more than you do.
  • You’ve lost a loved one, through death or break up, and are finding it very difficult to “get on with your life.”
  • You feel perplexed why, even when your life looks good, that you don’t feel happier, at ease or more engaged.

How we can help you with your concerns:

We each have years of training and experience in helping people with similar sorts of life issues. Our job is to help you discover the underlying roots of what is getting in your way. We believe people generally have done the best they can in coming up with strategies to deal with life’s difficulties, but over time these approaches no longer work well or are over utilized. We will help you find more constructive ways to deal with your feelings, undo the old reactive patterns, and create new experiences.

In order to accomplish this, it is vital that you feel safe and connected with your therapist. And, in addition, it is essential that you sense that our particular approach will challenge and motivate you toward change. While the work is not easy, it can be tremendously rewarding.

As therapists, we each bring our own personality, life experience, and professional training into the room. We will work toward finding the best match for you, as a collaborative partnership is essential. You may already have an idea of who might be the best fit after reading about us on the Therapists page. Or it may be helpful to speak to each of us on the phone to get a more immediate experience of who we are as well as particulars such as our fees and availability. Our numbers are listed below.

Couples Therapy

Are these patterns familiar in your relationship?

  • You no longer seem to delight in each other’s company as you once did. Instead, you often feel irritated, disappointed, or bored.
  • Communication often bogs down, with neither of you feeling truly heard or understood. Even worse, your words, intentions, and actions are often misinterpreted.
  • Difficult life experiences – career setbacks, financial stressors, problems with children or the death of parents – may have created distance rather than bringing you closer.
  • You no longer have the experience of being a team. Or you find that while you are good partners in parenting or running the household, you no longer feel like best friends or lovers.

How we can help you create new patterns and find deeper connection:

Our job is to create a safe space where you can be honest and constructively express the feelings and experiences that you have kept bottled up for too long. These hurts and resentments can become toxic and stifle the tenderness and generosity that you probably miss. We will give you tools that will help you deal with conflict constructively, so that anger is no longer expressed in harmful and indirect ways. And just as important, we will help you learn how to have fun again -- in conversation, in daily activities, and in the bedroom. Our hope is to create an environment where you each become your most alive and engaged self, so that you not only fall in love with your partner once again, but with yourself as well.

Serving the San Francisco Bay Area, East Bay, and Silicon Valley, including San Jose, Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Mountain View, Redwood City, San Mateo, Milpitas, Fremont, and Santa Cruz.
Marilyn DuHamel, LCSW  •   408.261.1550I. David Marcus, Ph.D.  •  408.313.3365
1022 W. Hedding Street, San Jose, CA 95126